CYCLOPEAN CITY NOIR

The following is an extended version of a scene that I just wrote for a screenwriting contest. I’m placing it here because it earned me my first official praise as a writer and I guess I’m a little sentimental about it.

EXT. JAZZ CLUB – NIGHT

Jaunty swing music spills out into the rain slicked street as a dapper DOORMAN opens the door. With a bow, he ushers in a gentleman in a dark suit and white fedora. A neatly-folded bill appears between the man’s manicured fingers and the doorman takes it graciously.

INT. JAZZ CLUB – CONTINUOUS

The club is pure decadence. Decco flourishes are everywhere. But, the most dazzling feature, by far, is the spectacular view of the SAN FRANCISCO BAY.

The man removes his hat and not a single hair on his well-groomed head nor in his swarthy, thin mustache is out of place. He gives the BLUSHING BEAUTY behind the counter a wink and a smile and then he gives her his hat. This is, in essence, ROMAN HOLIDAY.

Roman skirts the bustling dance floor until he comes to an empty seat at a round-top where a stunning red-head doesn’t look up from her whiskey sour. Her name, SUSIE HOMEWRECKER.

On stage, the band shifts tempo; they play a slow, sultry number. The dancers on the floor make a similar adjustment.

SUSIE
This is the last time you’ll keep me waiting, Roman.

Roman comes up behind her and tilts her head back to kiss him.

ROMAN
Susie, you are, as always, a vision.

She does not succumb to his copious charisma and shrugs him away.

SUSIE
Have a drink.

He lingers behind her, stunned by rejection.

ROMAN
Sounds delicious.

He takes his seat across form her as a WAITER presents him with a sturdy drink.

ROMAN (CONT’D)
Thanks, Kenny.

Roman is about to take a swallow.

SUSIE
Hold on.

She reaches beneath the table and draws out a silver flask, likely from her garter. She removes the cap and dumps the contents into Roman’s drink until it is almost overflowing.

ROMAN
What’s this?

SUSIE
Arsenic.

ROMAN
How adventurous.

He gulps down the drink and she remains silent until the empty glass is on the table.

Roman tugs at his shirt collar. His face is flushed and his eyes watery, but he refrains from coughing.

ROMAN (CONT’D)
Quite a kick. I can’t place the taste.

SUSIE
I told you, dumb-ass, it’s arsenic.

Roman’s smile barely fades as he raises the glass again, this time to his nose. 

ROMAN
You’re upset with me. I can tell.

SUSIE
Goodbye, Roman.

Susie grabs her handbag and moves to get up from the table. Roman signals for her to wait a moment. He grabs the waiter as he passes by.

ROMAN
Kenny, some chilled champagne- straight away.

The waiter nods and hurries off.

SUSIE
You probably don’t realize how little time you have, and I doubt you would want to spend your last few moments with me.

ROMAN
Don’t be so cruel to yourself. If anyone deserves to watch me die in agony, then surely it’s you.

She stands and slings her bag over shoulder.

SUSIE
I’ve made other plans, sorry.

ROMAN
Susie…

Roman offers a sneaky smile. His hand is beneath the table. There is the sound of his thumb coaxing back the hammer on a gun.

ROMAN (CONT’D)
I must insist.

A silenced shot blows a hole through the draped table cloth and into Susie’s thigh. She bites hard on her lip but lowers herself, calmly and quietly, back into the chair.

The other guests at the adjacent tables take no notice.

Roman politely offers her his handkerchief to staunch the bleeding. She snatches it out of his hand and discreetly cinches it around her leg.

The waiter returns with a sterling silver champagne bucket and two glasses. He sets a glass in front of Susie.

SUSIE
None for me, thanks.

Roman sends the waiter away and removes the bottle from the bucket, placing it on the table.

ROMAN
Your other engagement wouldn’t be with Detective Rossi, would it?

SUSIE
He said that you hit the warehouse already.

ROMAN
That dirty dick. What does he know?

Roman empties the ice from the bucket into a nearby plant. He then sets the bucket under the table. Susie looks perplexed.

ROMAN (CONT’D)
Just a moment.

Roman crawls beneath the table and a moment later, there is the faint sound of retching. Susie smiles at an onlooker at the next table. Roman then smoothly slips back into his seat and wipes his fingers with his napkin. Susie is revolted.

SUSIE
Well, did you?

Roman reaches into his dinner jacket and removes a dark, leather cylinder embossed with elaborate designs and text.

SUSIE (CONT’D)
You slick son-of-a-bitch.

She gawks at the prize in amazement.

SUSIE (CONT’D)
I don’t get it? If you got what you want already, then why meet me at all?

ROMAN
What if I were to tell you that this item can lead to much more wealth than it could ever draw at an auction.

SUSIE
How much more?

ROMAN
I was hoping you’d be interested.

Roman twists the tube in both hands and it opens to reveal an ancient parchment closed with a ghastly-looking wax seal.

SUSIE
What in the hell is it?

He breaks the seal with an ominous snap. He unfurls the parchment on the table. The text is alien and bizarre.

ROMAN
Think of it as a treasure map.

SUSIE
No shit. But, I ask again, why me?

Roman looks deeply into Susie’s wide green eyes.

ROMAN
I love you-

Just then, every electric light goes out in the joint. A wave of confusion passes over the many guests. The band falls out of time and quickly stops. Elsewhere, many of the waiters are already lighting candles.

A waiter places a lit candle between Susie and Roman. Susie face is radiant in the glow- a coy smile on her lips.

Across the table, Roman looks out over the harbor, his face half-veiled in shadow.

SUSIE
Did you arrange this too?

Roman’s attention returns to the parchment, the broken seal in particular.

ROMAN
-I’m afraid I might have.

He forces a smile.

ROMAN (CONT’D)
Perhaps it’s nothing. Where was I?

Susie leans back in her seat with her arms crossed over her chest.

SUSIE
You love me.

ROMAN
Ah, and what better token of my adoration for you could there be than the promise of limitless wealth and power?

SUSIE
That’d be some valentine. But, how do you get all of that from this?

She gestures to the parchment.

SUSIE (CONT’D)
I mean, can you even read it?

ROMAN
Well, not exactly, but I know a guy.

SUSIE
You know a guy.

Roman rolls the scroll up like it were a newspaper and stuffs it into the cylinder.

ROMAN
I know I can’t convince you here and now, but if you only let me take you to-

SUSIE
-your guy.

ROMAN
Doctor of Linguistics, thank you. And yes, he will dispel any and all doubts you may have regarding the matter.

He returns the cylinder to his pocket.

SUSIE
I don’t even remember saying I was interested.

ROMAN
Of course, you’re interested. Even if it all turns out to be a load of hooey, this is exactly the kind of adventure you want to be apart of. I know you that well.

Susie ruminates on this as Roman smirks.

Suddenly, one of the other guests seated by the windows notices something outside, illuminated by a distant flash of lightening.

FRIGHTENED GUEST
OH-MY-GOD!!!

The crowd starts gathering at the windows. Someone tries to question the frightened man but he is too stunned to answer.

CONCERNED GUEST
What did you see?

No one is sure what they are gawking at until the lightening flashes once more, and then it is pure bedlam.

Way out on the water, shrouded in fog, is the shadowy form of a GREAT TENTACLED MONSTER. A deep, guttural but strangely vocal sound rolls inland like thunder.

The windows explode inward, raining mayhem onto the shrieking guests. A roaring wind blasts through the club upsetting the tables and potted palm trees.

Roman and Susie remain relatively out of harm’s way, however, their candle does go out. From their seats, they both witness the giant menace, now glowing ghastly green, apparently headed straight in their direction.

SUSIE
(yelling)
What in the hell is that?!

ROMAN
(also yelling)
Would you like to continue this discussion someplace more quiet?

SUSIE
Roman, do you have something to do with that?!

ROMAN
I’m pretty sure that I do!

Susie remains obstinate with the wind whipping her hair around. She eventually demures and offers Roman a gloved hand.

Roman takes it. Suavely, he stands, steps around the table and guides Susie to her feet. She leans into him, her injured leg too weak to hold her. He slips his arm behind her back and looks deeply into her eyes and smiles.

Susie grabs his head in her hands and crushes her lips to his. They share a long, deep, passionate smooch.

With his free hand, Roman gathers the champagne and the two glasses, miraculously unharmed by the tempest.

ROMAN (CONT’D)
Let’s blow this gin joint.